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The Issue with Comparison

comparison manifestation mindset self awareness self care Mar 14, 2023

Comparison can have a significant impact on self-worth. When individuals compare themselves to others, they often focus on their perceived shortcomings or areas where they feel they don't measure up. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and a sense of not being good enough.

Comparison is not necessarily jealousy or the connected desire.  It is about 'he is and I am not." or "they have and we do not." 

When individuals compare themselves to others, feelings may come up that include envy or jealousy of what others have or their perceived success. Then feelings of resentment and bitterness may take root, which can further erode self-worth.  It is ok to have these feelings, but allowing them to escalate, and to lead to a diminished sense of self worth means that they are not serving us as they should.  We feel envy and jealousy simply to teach us what we desire.

Being envious is about wanting what someone else has, being jealous is about wanting a connection that isn't there.  Being bitter about having these occurs when we don't become aware that these feelings are telling us a message.  It is our energetic check in that we need to move toward what we want, not focus on what another have, not continue to compare, but to look inward at our own goals and how we are working towards them.

We do not need to overeat, over-exercise, over-achieve in any area to be what someone else is or to have what someone else has.  We want to check in with what we want - and then focus on how we want that thing we want to FEEL.  Because ultimately it is the success of having that higher vibrational energy, that higher feeling of happiness when we get what we want, that is the ultimate goal.  Think about it this way, if you think of a child who wants a particular doll, and all they focus on is their friend having that doll and they do not, but when they finally after months get that doll they are bored with it in 10 seconds - it isn't about them having the damn doll.  It was about them wanting to have the fun, the joy that their friend seems to have when playing with that doll.  The child sees this in some ways clearer than we do.  So focus instead, when feelings of jealousy surface, when you compare yourself on others why you want what they have.  Why you hope for it.  What you want to come from it for your life, your body, your mood, your emotional well being?  

Build up your self worth through comparison as opposed to allowing it to negatively impact it.  Do not focus on your perceived flaws or shortcomings rather than the strengths you have and the possibilities to achieve even more accomplishments.  Be grateful instead of hateful.  Recognize through awareness and mindfulness when you are comparing and shift the negative feeling energy into self-compassion and self-acceptance.  Focus on your progress, your goals and learning to appreciate your unique qualities and strengths.

Like with any emotion or behaviour that comes from our thoughts and feelings comparison isn't meant to be shamed and stopped, it is simply something to become aware of.  Use it as a guide, instead of allowing it to control you.

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